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Of Meat Helmets.

  • Jan. 30, 2005
  • 4:04 p.m.

A job and a lotto win

  • Jan. 27, 2005
  • 12:50 a.m.

Really, send me some freakin' documents...

  • Jan. 24, 2005
  • 9:34 p.m.

Enter Dr. Innocent

  • Jan. 23, 2005
  • 9:26 p.m.

Time Passages, pt. II

  • Jan. 19, 2005
  • 11:48 p.m.

2004-01-25 - 4:52 p.m.

Me and Mrs. Jones, Part the First...

...wherein the illusory Mrs. Mary Jones contacts your humble servant with an exciting plea for assistance, involving a completely fictional international financial transaction. Apparently, her concerns for confidentiality and secrecy do not overwhelm her need to bulk-mail this clumsy claptrap to innumerable complete strangers. (And yes, the e-mail really said that the money was in "Amsterderm" when I received it). I have cleaned up the formatting a bit, but it's otherwise untouched, leaving Mrs. Jones' estimable prose in its pristine form:

From: Mrs Mary Jones

NOTE REPLY THIS MAIL TO: [email protected]

PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USED IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.

I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Dr.Harry Jones who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2000.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of$8.6Million (Eight Million six hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) with one finance/security company in Amsterderm Holland. Presently, this money is still with the Security Company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use this fund to fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development.

With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I

shall give you the contact of the Finance/Security Company in

Amsterderm Holland. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a chuch or christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you. N.B-PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU

TO CONTACT THE LAWYER IN CHARGE IN HOLLAND IMMEDIATELY, HE DOES EVERYTHING ON MY BEHALF AND HE'S VERY UNDERSTANDING AND I BELIEVE HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS IN JESUS

NAME: Medube Ben Smith

Email: [email protected]

Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs Mary Jones

NOTE REPLY THIS MAIL TO: [email protected]

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U.R. Forwunyne, suitably invented and moved, prepares to stride into the breach.

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