Jul. 23, 2004 - 11:20 a.m.

Me and Mrs. Jones, Part the Thirteenth...

...wherein the lawyer Teddy Amah begins to act like a right royal pain in the ass. He will be slapped for that.

Dear U R,

I am very worry for the delay in this transaction with my

my Attorney ,Barrister Teddy Amah , He inform me that he

will not go into that proceedure to call you hence he dont

know what you mean by password.and he told me that you wrote

him that he recieved your message but he dont understand you

as you are quoting a password before he speaks with you .

Please give him a call if you are now serious in this regard.

In my case of illness ,I am getting better for now but I will

be in the hospital by next week thursday for treatment.

Hope to hear from you soonest .

please call him and make yourself clear to him.

Thanks for your assistance.

Yours in the Lord.

Mrs. BlessFaith.

..and U.R. responds to Mrs. Kazeem as follows (time to play it a little more sane and to plant the seed about an upcoming fishing trip)...oh yeah, and to insult the hell out of the lawyer!

Mrs. Kazeem:

I worry about the delay in our business as well. even more so now that I hear you are scheduled for treatment in the hospital on Thursday. I hope you are not feeling too poorly, dear lady.

I am confused, though, by your message about Mr. Amah. I don't understand what you mean when you say that he "will not go into that procedure to call" and the he "dont know what [I] mean by password". Is he of less than average intelligence, Mrs. Kazeem? Are you employing the functionally retarded to represent your legal needs? That is probably not wise. All I was trying to do was to be certain that it was your lawyer calling, and not one of the members of your family (because of your coma, I don't know if you remember or not, but your family -from when you were Mrs. Jones - has my number too) [Ed. note: Actually, there was never any of Mrs. Jones' family involved at all, but I know damn well that you can't even claim to remember, because of that pesky coma you invented for yourself. Pity.] . I still think we should use the password for this reason.

I am very serious about this business, but I can't call overseas from the telephone in the day lounge - it's not my phone, it belongs to the home, and it has a block on it for international calls.

I will write to Mr. Amah again, but please urge him to call me at once, or at least to e-mail me with the information that is needed to commence our business. We are wasting time.

I should tell you that I am scheduled to go on a fishing trip for three days. The helicopter comes to pick me up on Saturday morning, and I will fly to meet the charter boat in Rankin Inlet. I shall be returning on Monday evening. I will not have access to my e-mail or the Internet while I am away. I cannot cancel this weekend trip, it has cost me more than $8,000. It is Friday morning here right now. I hope to get in touch with Mr. Amah in the next 18 hours or so, or it will be Monday evening at the earliest before we make contact.

Regards,

U.R. Forwunyne

...and to Barrister Teddy Amah:

Sir:

I await receipt of correspondence from you. I am, as I have indicated before, your client Mrs. BlessFaith Kazeem's business associate. I understand from her that you have some information concerning our transaction that she has requested you to forward along to me. I suggest you follow her instructions.

Mrs. Kazeem tells me that you do not wish to use the password system I have suggested. Sir, you do not know the whole background of this transaction. I know the idea may sound a little ridiculous, but believe me it is necessary. I must insist that we continue to use the password system I have suggested.

As I have explained to Mrs. Kazeem, I cannot telephone you from the phone in the day lounge, as that is not my telephone (it belongs to the home) and there is a block on it for international calls. I will understand if you do not wish to telephone me, but it is time for us to move ahead with this business. Contact me by e-mail or send a fax to the number you have if you do not wish to use the telephone.

I urge you to move ahead quickly, sir, as I am scheduled to go on a fishing trip tomorrow morning. I cannot cancel the fishing trip, it was too expensive. I will be away from my residence for approximately three days. Please send me the necessary information in the next 18 hours, and I will review it while aboard ship. Failing that, it will be Monday evening before you are able to contact me.

Yours very truly,

U.R. Forwunyne

U.R. Forwunyne, the Oracle says you ought not to go on that fishing trip!

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